


Lost Chance

by purgatoan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Cussing, F/M, POV Meg Masters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 09:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9066190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: When Meg met Castiel for the first time she never thought that hatred would transform into something else. But what that “something else” was exactly?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Haunting by Halsey (lyrics italised).
> 
> Whole piece is from Meg's POV.
> 
> Cross-posting from Tumblr, it's an oldie!

_Keep on haunting_  
Keep on haunting me  
Keep on haunting  
Keep on haunting me

It didn’t look like a begining of a love story, rather a war. Our first meeting, I mean. No one would want to be tricked by some angel douche. I’m sure about that. And I certainly wasn’t happy that he used my face as a footbridge to get out of the flames. But what was I counting on? Respect? All the “celestial beings” were stuck up after all.

_I was as pure as a river  
But now I think I’m possessed_

I kept thinking about that moment countless times and I still couldn’t figure out why I let him sweet talk me. I shouldn’t have come so close to the circle but I did. I should have ran when he pulled me inside the flames but I stayed. I couldn’t understand why I felt so drawn to him. He was like a poison; irresistible and crawling into my veins without me even knowing. It was truly hilarious. He’s an angel and I am a demon. What the hell was I thinking?

_You put a fever inside me  
And I’ve been cold since you left_

He wasn’t like God’s other little soldiers. He didn’t care about orders; he rebelled and fucked up all of their plans. Maybe that’s why it felt different. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t scared of him. Maybe that’s why I thought he would understand. Because he was similar to me. I wasn’t straightforward, he wasn’t eiher. I certainly didn’t consider serving anyone. I listened to Lucifer to get some benefits from it. I didn’t need anyone’s validation.

_I’ve got a boyfriend now and he’s made of gold  
And you’ve got your own mistakes in a bed at home_

Back then, I would never consider helping the Winchesters for obvious reasons. I thought that they were wrong, extremely wrong, like all the hunters in the world. After a while, I couldn’t help but think that they had a point. Somehow, deep down in my heartless self, I knew that they were doing the right thing even if I didn’t know if I wanted to be right or wrong. Of course, Clarence was with them when I joined them to help.

_I’m hoping you could save me now but you break and fold  
You’ve got a fire inside but your heart’s so cold_

I never used to care about what others thought of me. One of the perks of being a demon, I guess. That’s why I didn’t know that it would hurt like a bitch to be called an abomination. I wasn’t one. It wasn’t my fault that I was a demon. Then why did it hurt? Because that shouldn’t have hurt, right? 

_‘Cause I’ve done some things that I can’t speak_  
_And I’ve tried to wash you away but you just won’t leave_

That’s why I have no idea why I kissed him later. I think that it was my bizarre way of checking if he was actually disgusted by me. It was just a game. What I didn’t expect was for him to go all the way, pinning me to the wall and taking control. The funniest thing? I let him do what he wanted to me. I should’ve backed off, considering he could smite me like a fly if he wanted, but I didn’t. In a weird and obviously fucked up way, I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me. A demon trusting an angel? Hilarious.

_So won’t you take a breath and dive in deep  
'Cause I came here so you’d come for me_

It was weird for me mainly because he left me breathless and, which suprised me as hell, wanting more. Wanting to do that again. What was wrong with me? How had I started swooning over some pretty angel? What changed?

 _I’m begging you to keep on haunting_  
I’m begging you to keep on haunting me  
I’m begging you to keep on haunting  
I know you’re gonna keep on haunting me

Then, after long time, no see, I’ve heard of him again. Demons were talking that Clarence had no idea who he was and they all wanted him alive. For Crowley, because of what he did with those souls from Purgatory. I couldn’t let him put a hand on that poor angel. After all, he was just trying to keep the world from ending. And I liked living in that world. When did I start caring, huh? Such a weird feeling.  
__  
We walk as tall as the skyline  
And we have roots like the trees

Of course he didn’t remember me, why would he? Nonetheless, he trusted Dean when he said that I was a friend. I never thought someone would use that word to describe me, let alone Dean. I stepped on their toes countless times, after all. What a surprise.

 _But then your eyes start to wander_  
'Cause they weren’t looking at me  
You weren’t looking for me

That idiot didn’t want to tell Cas that he was angel so I had to take matter in my own hands. He was terrified at the beginning but after smiting those demons he remembered. He knew who he was and who I was. Was it a good thing or a bad thing? I didn’t know then.  
__  
'Cause I’ve done some things that I can’t speak  
And I’ve tried to wash you away but you just won’t leave

I decided to take care of Clarence after he went crazy because of that crap he took over from Sam. I felt that I needed to stay; I had nowhere to go, to be honest. Everyone was after me, as well as after him. Why not join him in his misery? I felt like I owed him, which was strange. But I stayed anyway.

_So won’t you take a breath and dive in deep  
'Cause I came here so you’d come for me_

It wasn’t hard to keep the angel in check. It was a blast to take care of that adorable piece of sunshine, and, what was even better, he started to think of me as a friend. I wasn’t an enemy anymore and it felt, I don’t know, nice? Again, I had no idea why I cared. Why did I need his validation in order to be happy?

_I’m begging you to keep on haunting  
I’m begging you to keep on haunting me_

When all the Leviatan crap reached a peak we had to help the Winchesters. I agreed, why wouldn’t I? But I kept thinking that something’s gonna go sideways. Even those little smiles and compliments that Clarence threw in my direction didn’t divert my attention. Anyway, I was just a demon. I didn’t matter to any of them. At least I could be put to a good use. I had nothing better to do, anyway. I could save the world once. Never thought I would want do that.

_I’m begging you to keep on haunting  
I know you’re gonna keep on haunting me_

And all shit went to hell. Just like I thought. Literally. Crowley found me and I was his bitch for over a year. Days of torture and humilation. Not even being able to decide about such a simple thing like my hair colour. Then, they found me. Or, I’d rather say, we found each other.  
  
_'Cause I’ve done some things that I can’t speak  
And I’ve tried to wash you away but you just won’t leave_

Something was off with Clarence but I couldn’t quite pick up what exactly. Nevermind. I was beaten up pretty bad; blood everywhere and all that stuff. Suddenly, the tables have turned and he took care of me, shockingly. He stopped having such a good reputation then, that’s what I’ve heard at least; he kinda turned bad and I turned good which sucked. Honestly, it was pathetic. But I felt like he actually cared for me. Spending time with me, talking about the old times, patching up my wounds. It felt like coming home even if I didn’t remember what it was to have one. I never had one.

_So won’t you take a breath and dive in deep  
'Cause I came here so you’d come for me_

I decided to go with it, not so smoothly suggesting to do something more if we were going to survive this crap. Again, Clarence surprised me, agreeing to “move some furniture around”. I bet he could do magic. It was important for me, he started being significant. A demon and an angel. Would that even work? I hoped I’d see.

_I’m begging you to keep on haunting  
I’m begging you to keep on haunting me_

The old Meg would’ve never stayed behind and sacrifice herself for someone. But I did. I died for my unicorn and, if I could go back, I would never change that decision. Why I did it? That’s a tough one. Was that love? I honestly don’t know. But I’m sure it could be if we had some more time.

_I’m begging you to keep on haunting  
I know you’re gonna keep on haunting me_


End file.
